Self-Love Style of Your Life Archetype
Today I offer you a Self-Love Style Prompt for your own Life Archetype to either get you started on a new cycle of self-love or to enhance your current self-love practice. “Love” can be toxic and self-love is not the same as self-care. Go here to calculate your Life Archetype.
Self-Love Style of Your Life Archetype
The self is the first part of the self-love equation.
If you want the love, you need the self.
If you leave the self out and try to go straight to the love, that coveted love might just give you the biggest chocolate hangover ever!
As humans we all absolutely do this frog-leaping over the self, trying to catch love on our tongues. Or have done it at some point in our life (for a myriad of valid or invalid reasons).
We can easily spot this love dis-balance in someone else’s relationship. It is always easier to see it reflected in other people, isn’t it?
A whole film industry is established around the topic of toxic relationships, often camouflaged as love comedies, and countless romantic novels line the book store shelves.
But what is really going on underneath the individual stories? What are the energy dynamics at play? Which archetypes are on stage?
Anything that we ingest into our energetic system that does not come from a pure source will leave toxins in our systems. We can see this poisoning effortlessly with physical toxins, such as food poisoning, allergies and hangovers. What we might not see as effortlessly is that these toxic reactions do not only occur visibly in the body but also invisibly in the body, mind heart and soul.
“Love” can be toxic.
Latching onto love as a means to fill the deep black hole in our heart is not a pure source of love. This type of “love" will leave toxins in our system, just as a food poisoning might, and will cause additional heartbreak. Loving “hard” on someone in order to avoid our own fears of abandonment will scar our soul tissues deeply. Over-givers, smother-ers, nice people, connectors and do-gooder’s are notorious for this.
When we latch onto external love source as a way to fill the black hole in our heart, we become an energy vampire. Vampire is a very common archetype, prevalent especially in relationships - sucking the energy of love right out of the other persons system, in order to fuel our own system.
At the core vampire-ism is manipulation. Just as a vampire sucks blood from its victim in order to energize itself, so too can people energetically be vampires and suck energy from another person in order to fuel their own energy. This is often done under the guise of “love”.
The other person will react to this drainage through resentment, bitching, withdrawal, escapism or a flat out break-up. Or they might turn to manipulation themselves and see how they can get their own needs met. A viscous manipulation cycle has been ignited that is hard to stop and often spins out of control, until it is interrupted through a drastic intervention.
We’ve probably all been on the receiving end of such vampire love as well as being the vampire. There’s no judgement here. This is about noticing the energy patterns at play within ourselves and others so we can make a healthier choice and shift the dynamics should that sweet chocolate have turned bitter. Often this requires having a long overdue conversation with our inner neglected child, our wounded healer, our victim, martyr or prostitute which can all be sub-archetypes of our primary Life Archetype.
The Remedy to Vampire-ism in Love
The only remedy that I have discovered to either giving or receiving vampire-ism in love is called self-love.
Yes, I know, self-love is a term that’s thrown around a lot, often camouflaging nothing more than blatant selfishness and petty egoism. And yet, if we want to be our own Valentine not just on this specific day in the year we need to look at self-love and the relationship we have with ourselves.
Do you even know what self-love looks like for you?
Many of us confuse self-love with self-care.
I sure did and sometimes still do. However, self-care, in my opinion, is an aspect of self-love. An important one. But it’s not the whole picture.
All the self care in the world won’t help, at least not in a sustainable way, if it is not rooted in self-love. Self-love is an inside job. A life-long task. There is no graduation. No retirement. No pension. No delegation either. No outsourcing, no matter how noble, will fulfill this task. It needs to be executed by us.
Today I would like to offer you a Self-Love Style prompt for your own Life Archetype to either get you started on a new cycle of self-love or to enhance your current self-love practice. And while there is so much more to say about this, don’t dismiss this lightly just because of its shortness.
The key to unlocking a massive door does not need to be huge. It just needs to fit the lock.
These keys fit the lock.
Self-Love Style Prompts
for each Life Archetype
Self-Love Style Prompts
Spend time with the prompt of your Life Archetype. It is the key to unlocking the door to your Self-Love Style. Letting the key unlock the magick through: journaling, meditating, thinking, talking, creating, collaging, dancing, cooking, organising, walking or whatever else makes you receptive to the wisdom of your own Self are all great ways to smoothly open the door to your own Self Love Style.
Magician: Go backstage & intentionally cloak yourself in love
High Priestess: Create a love ritual to access and cultivate your self love
Empress: Luscious sensuality is the key to your own heart
Emperor: Self love is like building blocks, stack them
High Priest: Celebrate yourself & your life by creating a new self love tradition
The Lovers: Romance yourself & life through union of logic and intuition
Charioteer: Meditate on the qualities of love and integrate these into your everyday
Justice: Harmonise the relationship with yourself by being just with yourself
Hermit: Pour the love you have for a bigger cause into yourself first
We would be delighted to hear from you, so please share your self-love practices and ponderings with us in the comments below.